Have you ever walked away from a conversation replaying everything you said in your mind? I do it all the time. I leave nervous that I said something weird and left the other person feeling uncomfortable.
I play the words back and think of better ways to make my points. It’s easy to believe this is a healthy behavior of self-inventory, but I found that it’s not. It’s over judgmental and unhelpful.
Don’t live in the future while you talk, or live in the past when you walk away. The future is full of uncertainty and replaying the past just leads to making assumptions about what someone else was thinking. The better solution is to be MORE PRESENT during your conversation. To see the other person’s expressions as you’re talking.
Self-judgment impedes progress. Presence is the answer.